Why doesn't she leave?
Posted on 9th April 2025 at 12:55
You will often hear others say why doesn’t she just leave the relationship? It’s not that easy!!!
There are many reasons why a woman doesn’t leave an abusive relationship.
The traits of an abuser are to bully their partner, belittle their partner and trap their partner in the relationship.
How is this done you may ask?
Here is an example: The abuser controls the finances in the relationship, BULLIES her, by not giving her any money or enough money to buy essentials. BELITTLES her, she needs to ask or beg for money, TRAPS her, she has no money and relies on the abuser financially. How can she leave with nothing?
This is just one example of how an abuser traps the woman in a relationship. The list goes on and on and can be very different for every woman.
The woman may also:
fear she won’t be believed.
may not want to leave her home.
may not want to disrupt the children.
may be financially dependent on her partner.
love him.
hope their partner will change! Reminds herself of the good times.
is scared what others will think.
have no support.
have nowhere to go.
Be scared of the repercussions if she does leave.
A woman from a different culture or with disability will face additional barriers alongside the above:
Language barrier - doesn’t know how to ask for help.
Immigration status - often used against her to trap her in the relationship.
May have been told that she will be deported.
Made to believe the police will not help her.
Fear of the community (shame).
The partner may be her carer, control her medication.
The property may be adapted for her needs.
Did you know that the most dangerous time for a woman is when she ends the relationship and takes back control from her partner! The risks are increased, and her life can be in danger.
If you would like to talk to someone about domestic abuse, you can contact our 24-hour helpline on 01482 446099
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